EP47 | BE More with Ease in 2023 (Without the Struggle)

Have you ever felt like you are the imposter in the room? Perhaps you could be right!

If you actually see it for what it is, it might be an indication that you’re not being true to yourself.  This makes things so much harder than it has to be and you actually end up confusing people around you!

This is just one way we create an unnecessary struggle for ourselves.  It's time to make a shift toward BEing more (with ease) in 2023.

In this episode, Zach gives you 3 shifts that you can implement in your life and business to give you a great start to the new year.

Find out more about Zach’s 3-part video series. Visit www.zacharend.com/habit  to find out more and unlock your potential as a leader!

 Episode resources:

• Zach’s Website

• Join Zach’s Workshop
• Poem: Fire by Judy Brown

If you enjoyed this episode then please either:

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Zach Arend: Welcome back or welcome to the Create Purpose Podcast. Today's episode, I wanna talk about what it means to be more with ease, especially as you look out ahead into the new year 2023. We're about a month away from 2023, so what if you could be more. With ease and a lot less struggle in 2023. That's what we're here to do in this episode, is to explore how you might be able to create that shift in your life.

So that 2023 looks a lot different. Maybe 2022 is a great year, but I'm in the business of going from good to great. And so how could we continue to turn the dial on the impact you're. On your income, on your growth, your influence, and just simply creating more of what you desire in your life.

That's why we're here today. That's what we're exploring how to be more in 2023 with ease and a lot less struggle. And I wanna start with a story that I just went through. One of my coaches will call him Coach Jeffrey. Every call. The first question he always asks me is, what are you grateful for? I look forward to that question and I look forward to what comes up in the moment.

I don't rehearse the answer to that question, but here's what came up for me. When he asked me that question last week, I told him I'm grateful for my inbox, my email inbox. That's what I was grateful for, and I to explained to him that. My email inbox for the last probably 18, maybe even 24 months now, has been a source of opportunity.

This is not about me, I want to make this about you.  What if you were to be grateful for your inbox? So when I go into my inbox, this is what I'm starting to see more and more of. Just this past week I got an email from somebody that heard me speak at a workshop back in January and she asked me  if I would consider coming to San Antonio for one of their two day annual conferences and leading two separate session.

Naturally I'm excited cuz that's what I want to do. And so I got that request. And then probably in the last 30 days I got an email  from a client introducing me to somebody who's interested in working with a coach. And then that struck a great conversation and meeting a new person.

And my inbox I'll get testimonials, I'll get people just thanking me for the conversation and the insights and. they're not thinking me, they're just emailing me to share a win. This just happened in my life, and as a result of some of the conversations and some of what I've been exploring over the last several months, I'm starting to experience experiencing a shift in my life, in my business.

I am grateful for those messages. I am grateful for my email inbox now. That's quite a stark contrast from where I was about  three to five years ago because my inbox was probably the greatest source of stress and pressure I could imagine. And oftentimes the emails that I received were. A customer that was about to leave or a problem that I needed to fly somewhere to help solve.

Or somebody who was upset with somebody else or this wasn't working or that wasn't working. And every one of those emails just felt like another brick being put in my backpack that I had to carry around. And I was feeling tired and exhausted. What was it today? when I checked my inbox this morning, what am I gonna find?

And was exhaust. So sharing that with my coach got me thinking about what shifted, what changed? Because that is not my reality today, but it was three years ago. So what changed? I want you to listen to this for possibility.

What would have to be true for it to change for you? So I went back and I thought about who is I being, because this episode's gonna be titled  Be More, be capital B, capital E, more. With ease and a lot less struggle in 2023. So who was I being back in whatever that was?  2018.

Actually, now that I'm using the years, it was more like 20 17, 20 18 was when this was going on. Who was I being back then? And I was journaling on  this morning  and here's some of what I wrote down. Who was I? Back then when my email was a great source of stress, who was I being? I was being a problem solver.

I was being a problem solver. There was this twisted thing about I found that solving problems felt good. It felt good for me to solve problems. It felt like I was contributing and. I now know that need to solve problems actually was at the root of that some deep seated beliefs about myself where I felt inadequate, where I felt not good enough, not worthy of my position. And the only way that I can maintain my position is if I could solve problems and show everybody that I have value. Hey, look at me. I have value problem solver, and I could solve a lot of problems, but the dark side of being a problem solver.

Where your attention is and you are where your attention is, you're gonna go where you focus. And so if you're focused on solving problems and finding your self worth and  being a person who can solve problems, the dark side of that is all is problems. All is problems.

It's like problem begets more problem. And so every problem you solve, there's three more to follow that, and that's what creates that hamster wheel mentality. Idea of problem solving. And if you're a business owner, we all get caught into this. Like we see what needs to change for us to have more of what we want.

And so we go into problem solving mode and that can go on for 10 years. that can go on forever until you become aware of this. So my hope is just this one right here because it shifted everything. Cuz who was I being, I was being a problem solver. Because I was being a problem solver, all I could see was problems.

That's where my attention went. And I enjoyed solving problems cause that  made me feel good about myself. But it was like, before I knew it, I look out, I look at my inbox and there's just more problems. I look out my office and there's a line of people wanting me to help them with their problems, and that was who I was being.

And that's about 180 degree shift.  From who I'm being today. Do I assist people in what they would call their problems? Yeah. But we shift from problem solving to creation. So that's the first distinction. Who was I being, I was being a problem solver. Who am I being more today? I'm not saying I'm immune to sometimes getting hooked by.

Urge to solve some a problem, but I am much more focused on creating than I was five years ago, back in 2017, 2018. My life is now about creating. 

What I've realized is you and I we're in constant creation. We are always creating something. We're either creating more of what we want or more of what we don't want, and you know what?

Sometimes problem solving is irrelevant because you can. A lot of your problems and still not be any closer to what you really want. That's why entrepreneurs and business owners and leaders can spend decades solving problems and counting the years before retirement, because I'm exhausted. When will I get to step off this hamster wheel?

Let's just choose to step off it now and shift to creation. Cuz when we're creating. It's not about problems. We're seeing past the problems and we're asking ourselves what's the future I desire to create and what would be the steps I would have to get committed to, to create that future that's fundamentally different?

So number one, who was I being? I was being a problem solver. Who am I being today? I am being a creator. I am shifting my focus to what do I want to create? What's the result I desire to see next? And how do I go about taking some steps towards that? And so that's number one. Number two, who was I being when my inbox was my greatest source of stress?

Stress. I saw myself and I'm not proud of this one, but there was something about me that. I saw myself as the smartest person in the room. I saw myself as the most talented, most qualified person to navigate the scenarios. And the dark side to that was I took it all on. I took it all on.

I would tell myself stories like it's just easier if I do. But was it really easier because you reflect back on I was exhausted, I was stressed, and that wasn't what I wanted. And because I carried myself as the most talented, smartest person in the room, I'm the leader. I'm a vice president of sales.

I've also done VP of operations, so I know the whole business. So what's the issue? Oh, you need to do X, Y, Z, and oftentimes it felt like I was right in that moment. It's yeah, that is the thing you need to do.

But that's irrelevant because I needed to start thinking bigger. I'm suggesting you need to start thinking bigger if you find yourself telling yourself that nobody can do it as good as you. If you're a business owner, that's common.  Nobody can do it as good as you.

I'm the owner. Nobody can do it as good as me. Nobody's gonna care as much as I do. That is a trap because what you're creating for yourself is a world where you have to do everything, and I don't think that's why you got into business. I don't think that's the vision. I don't think that ever was the vision.

That's called fear. Fear is keeping you from letting. And starting to be more of a coach and developing your team. And the only way you do that is you have to let them, figure it out. You have to let them make some mistakes. You have to think about it. How many mistakes have you made leading up to now being who you are today? I'm willing to bet you've made a lot of mistakes. I have, oh my God, I have wasted hours, tons of going down the complete wrong direction and all of that. But every time I did that, I learned so much and I grew so much.

And so what I'm suggesting is because I was being the most talented person in the room, I didn't allow other people to grow and develop. You might be doing the same thing because you're telling yourself, I'm the owner nobody's gonna care as much as me. Nobody is going to be able to do it. Like I can do it.

You're probably right, but at what cost? At what long term cost, because if not now, when are you gonna let people make some mistakes and stumble and struggle and work through issues just like you had to do  now you're gonna create other smart people in the room, other talented people That was the second shift that I've made, and it's a shift I help my clients make in helping them see themselves more of the CEO of their business, more of the coach of their business, and less of the doer and individual contributor.

Letting go of some of that and getting that vision getting attached to a new way of being in the business that allows everyone to thrive and to grow and develop, just like you've gotten the opportunity to do. And what's beautiful about it is your growth now continues. You're not continuing to do stuff that maybe you're good at but you don't like doing.

You're now getting to sink your teeth in the stuff that really lights you up, the stuff that you've been desiring to learn in and grow in. So that's a shift. As soon as I stopped seeing myself as the smartest person in the room and I started letting go and letting others, a whole new world opened up for me a whole new world of opportunity.

 So number three, who was I being back in 2017, 2018? That caused my inbox to be a huge source of stress. My email inbox I felt like an imposter. Most days. I'm sitting in the conference room, I'm sitting in my leadership meetings, and I'm secretly thinking to myself, I'm not sure I belong here.

I'm not sure they know that. I don't know what the F I'm doing. I felt like an imposter. And the truth is, Most people when they feel like an imposter, there's so much talk out there. You're not an imposter. You just need to believe in yourself. But if you're feeling like an imposter I'm gonna go the opposite direction, you probably are being an imposter.

Because I know who I was being when I felt like an imposter. I was being an imposter because that's what was alive in me. That was what was real in me. And so what does it look like when you feel like you're an imposter? You filter your words. You don't share your truth. Meaning like what you believe is true?

What you believe is the right direction, the ideas. You don't share your ideas you stuff down your creativity. , you pretty much lead from the outside in externally, basically taking your cues from everybody else, trying to please others. I'm describing who I was being back in 2000 17, 18, taking my cues from everybody else trying to please them, trying to live up to their expectations instead of leading from the inside out.

What do I believe to be true? Who am I? What do I want to create in the world? What's the results I want to see. Remember back I was solving problems because I thought if I just solve these problems, I can show everybody that I'm not an imposter. But yet I was being an imposter because I wasn't sharing my truth.

I wasn't showing up powerfully. I wasn't being who I knew that I deep down who I really was.

And if you are feeling like an imposter, I'm gonna suggest, and I love you, but I think you just might be being an. Because deep down, you're not being who you are. My suggestion is lean into that. Start stepping boldly in the direction of who you know yourself to be truly unapologetically be that because then you're not being an imposter.

I've got a story to share with you about this very thing. 

I work with an executive, he's the CEO of a large organization. Relatively large, but 80 to a hundred people, employees, and the guy is a grinder. We were talking, he said he only took one day off this entire year, literally one day off.

And he means one day off. But here recently, he. We call it CEO time. And he took a day he took CEO time and he said it was the most impactful CEO time he ever had because what he realized was who he desired to be. And I go, who do you desire to be? He told me, he's I wanna be thoughtful. I want to be grounded.

I want to be able to be the mountain in the storm. And he goes on to describe himself. And inside. I'm just smiling cuz I go, I'm just gonna say it. That's been my experience of you like That's who I see you to be. Like  you are that.

And then I went on to say, but there are moments, and I brought this up cuz sometimes as a coach I'm just a mirror.

I want to share my experience of you  because there were some times where I felt confused cuz the way he was showing up was 180 degrees opposite of that. And I literally felt myself be confused. He was being an imposter in that moment when he came to our sessions, in panic and anxiety and he would say things like, it's just the worst day ever.

Pretty shitty day, how you doing? Terrible. And just going on to tell me all the stuff that's happened and in that moment I was experiencing him quite differently than how he described himself. Quite differently than who I know  that he was. And it was quite confusing for me.

And back in 2018, my coach helped me see that every time that I'm telling myself and I'm an imposter, and I let that drive and let that prevent me from being who I truly are. Everyone around you already sees your greatness. They do. Your employees already see your greatness. But because. You're feeling like the imposter.

You end up confusing everybody around you. They're kind of like, what's up with her? What's up with him? God,  she's powerful,  he's so smart and convicted and resolute, but what's going on? And so  my suggestion  is that if you're feeling like an imposter.

Yeah, I think you might be one, be, not, be one, but being one. And when you are that  you will confuse people around you. Because you already are who you desire to be. You just are. I wanna say that again. You already are who you desire to be. The only thing that's preventing you from being that is just being unapologetically So that was number three, 2018, I was the imposter. I was diminishing who I was every step of the way, wearing the masks that I thought I had to wear, say what I was supposed to say, do what I thought I was supposed to do to earn my worthiness and earn my spot at the table instead of trusting my gut and my own instincts and my own process.

That's not the case today. I'm learning to trust my gut and trust my own process. Again, that comes from a space of creativity. So those are the three shifts. And so if you want to be more with ease in 2023 let's talk about the three shifts, and these are the three shifts.  Maybe you have some other shifts to make, but hey, maybe these are the three shifts for you.

Shifting from a problem solving orientation to creative orientation. It's not what I want. It's not what problems do I need to solve, it's what do I want to create. That's number one. Number two is making the shift from seeing yourself as the most talented person, the smartest person, the best person to take on the task.

Whether you're right or wrong with that point, it's irrelevant because if we're thinking about what you desire to create, we gotta do what's most useful and what's most useful is to allow others to struggle and make some mistakes and learn and grow. That will never happen until you let go.

It's just that's the truth. So what if you were to learn to let go in 2023 and let others dive in and now what are you gonna do with your time? That's what's fun is you get to ask yourself the question, what lights me up? What's the work that I would love to do? Because you know what? Life is too short to not be doing what you love.

So that's the shift. Get committed to doing what you love at all. That's number two. Number three, shift from that wrestling with imposter syndrome and actually see it for what it is. Let it be an indication that you're not being true to yourself, and then just ask yourself the question what would be true?

For me, what is my truth? If I were to show up fully expressed, which is the whole reason I'm, do, doing a full day workshop on January 5th is to help leaders make this shift into being the fully expressed leader that they know that they are squash imposter syndrome, so that you can un apology, unapologetically share your vision.

Without feeling all that imposter Bs. Because every time you're feeling it, it's like you're being muffled. People aren't really hearing what needs to be heard because you're not saying what needs to be said because you're still wondering if you are good enough. Let's put that to an end so that you can play full out in 2023 and be more with ease and drop the struggle, drop it.

So those are the three shifts that I'm suggesting that you wrestle with and reflect on as we close out this year.  And I was gonna think of a, is there anything to add for today's episode? I have  one thing for you. One marching order, because if you want to make the biggest shift next year,  and I did a podcast episode on this.

It was titled Slow Down to Speed Up. You are gonna need to learn to slow down to speed up. You just are that Judy Brown poem called Fire A Fire Burns because of the space between the logs,  if you look at your calendar, where is your space and what are you using that space for? Are you using it for creativity, for inspiration to fill your tank up or using it to get caught up?

Because so often, I remember back in 2018. The space on my calendar was to clean up my inbox, to clean out my bag and sort files, right? But that really wasn't inspiring or creativity. So my ask of you, it's not an ask,  why would I, this is what I believe. My recommendation for you is to put something on your calendar called CEO time.

That client I just shared with you. He came to me and he's like, I had this huge epiphany, this huge insight of who I wanted to be, and I got back in touch with it. Why? Because I took time outta my day to check back in with myself, my own resonance. What's not resonating with me?

What is and how do I continue to move in the direction to what is that CEO time? And if you'd some help with that, I created a three part video. And it's around the number one habit that all successful CEOs do. And if you're not a ceo, this still is gonna serve you tremendously because  I define CEO as the captain of the ship.

And when you put yourself in your own life you are the captain of your ship,  you are responsible. I love. Being responsible. I think that's a cool life when you are responsible because the truth is nobody else is coming. And when you can put yourself in a position that you are the only one that can take care of your needs.

By asking for what you want, setting boundaries, like that's all in your responsibility, and then keeping everybody else around you in responsibility. That's what a CEO does, and I think the world would be a much better place if we were all more responsible and less susceptible to the victimhood mentality that is out there in the world.

And it starts with choosing yourself, taking some ceo time. And if you want some help with that, check out that three part video series. It's a very simple concept, but I break down exactly how do you create that space for yourself and how do you put yourself in a position to succeed by working with your team, creating some space, setting some boundaries with your team, getting permission from them and setting yourself up.

How do you do that? That's what the three part video series. This isn't a bunch of airy fairy ideas. It's an execution plan, an implementation plan for you to really start fulfilling on this and putting it in place for yourself. And I'm gonna end with this because where I'm going next with this podcast in the month of December, is I want to give you some things that you can bring into your CEO time.

As I'm thinking about it right now, I think part one in December is gonna be all about reflection because we can't create anything new until we reflect on what's working for us, what's not working for us, and we actually give ourselves time and space to really consider.

That, and then part two will then be all about creating intentions and creating a vision for where you want to go in 2023 based on what you're learning about yourself. Then it's just a matter of that's the situation. Now what do I want to create next? So that will be part two. And these are two things that you can bring into your CEO time.

So if you're listening to this, go download that. You can get it at www.ZachArend.com/habit, www.ZachArend.com/habit and go through that. It'll take 20 minutes and that'll help you  create some space so that then you can. Go along the journey with me in December and we can start to reflect.

I'll be your coach for 30 days and we'll start working through how you can set some great intentions and get clear on your priorities for 2023. So thanks for listening, and I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.

Hopefully you really enjoyed this podcast episode, and my hope is you found it really inspirational and also most importantly, I hope you took away some practical things that you can start to do and apply in your own life.

So finally, I have one small favorite to ask of you before you go wherever you get your podcast, whether that's Apple Music or Spotify. If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a review. Love to hear your thoughts. Come find us on social media, share it on social media. It just really helps us get the word out, helps us grow our audience, so please do that.

Thanks to my team, Ashley Bolden, who handles all the admin and Chris Skipper who handles all the music and editing of this. Podcast. For more information on the Create Purpose Podcast, you can go to www.createpurpose.net, and you can also follow me on Instagram at Zach dot Arend. Please drop me a comment, reach out, drop me a dm.

I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to hear what you're taking away from these conversations. What would you like to hear more of? Do you have any guests that you would love to see come on the show? And I'm always looking for great people to talk to people with great stories that can inspire you. And so if you know of anybody, send 'em my way.

Love to hear from you. I'm your host, Zach Arend, and I'll see you in the next episode of the Create Purpose Podcast. Bye for now.